


A normal day at the office

by Dwarfanonymice



Series: Kingsman's vignettes [3]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Eggsy's defense squad, Kingsman's new reality, M/M, some unfortunate recruits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 23:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12758469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dwarfanonymice/pseuds/Dwarfanonymice
Summary: Eggsy is finding himself in trouble. An unconcerned Morgana sends immediately back up and you'll see from there. A normal day in the life of spies and recruits. Oh, and dogs.





	A normal day at the office

“This mission is sucking… hard” complained Eggsy to an amused Morgana while he was searching for an exit in a heavily guarded cartel’s compound in Mexico and trying obviously not to be seen.  
“Young man,” she replied to a shocked agent, “I hope that is not meant in the literal sense. I know for a fact that Arthur enjoys having only his balls sucked hard.”  
“I’m having a bit of a crisis here, Madame and I don’t appreciate you talking about your past with MY lover”, was the snappy repartee.  
“It’s Madame Morgan Le Fay to you and to everyone else, even Merlin” she said, clearly amused at Galahad’s expense. “But if you would be so kind to not get killed, please direct your nice derrière to your right, then to your left and you’ll find your exit. Do you have the data we required?”  
“Yes,” was the short petulant reply “but I’m afraid that the door is guarded and I don’t know how to leave without killing everyone. If you remember, I don’t have any more sleeping gas with me and I finished the darts”.

“Agents” she tsked while filing her nails “drama queens. Everyone of them. Don’t worry, dear, help is on the way. I would look for a shelter in the meantime.”  
“What help?” asked Eggsy, taking cover behind a wall. At the same time, the door exploded and in the smoke appeared six men and two dogs equipped with a small vest.  
“What good are the dogs, sir?” asked a black figure while walking towards Eggsy’position. “You know perfectly well that they have weapons in the vest and some small bombs, you idiot” replied another next to him. Eggsy recognised them as the infamous Rupert and Emily, a girl scarier than Roxy on a good day. He loved her to bits.

“Now, now, children” came another voice (Arthur’s) “don’t be petulant. If you are good I’ll let you smother these assholes, you can keep the giant replica squid you put in the headquarter’s lake and then we can go to that nice restaurant in Kyoto. I believe it’s called Kitcho”.  
“Yes, please, sir” they both answered in unison and at Arthur’s paternal “You are good ones” all six spread like wildfire through the compound, while Eggsy made himself known and patted JB and Hamish’s heads fondly.

“Hello love” said Arthur. Eggsy hugged him and then gave him a little peck on the lips. “I believe we have ten minutes to vacate the premises before they blow it up completely. Your ducklings are really something” said Eggsy.  
Harry smiled: “Would you believe me if I said to you that I can’t really choose between them? I have a soft spot for youths with potential.” At that Eggsy snorted : “Even for Rupert?”  
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Shall we?” was Harry’s reply while offering Eggsy his arm. Shaking his head, Galahad took it and whistled to Hamish and JB who were sniffing curiously around.

Two minutes later, from a veritable carnage, emerged six figures, a little worse for wear, who saluted them both and proceded to follow to an hidden plane, three kilometers far from the compound.  
During the flight back to Scotland Eggsy suspiciously asked: “How did you get Merlin to authorise this, darling?” Harry placidly answered: “I didn’t, love. I simply took what I needed. I’m Arthur after all and Morgana distracted him.”  
“I don’t want to know how, please” groaned Eggsy. “We are all fucked and not in the good way”.  
“I’m sure it will be alright, Galahad, sir” said Emily.

“Actually, no” came a voice from the plane’s hidden microphones. They all blanched while Merlin continued: “You six will have to debrief with Morgana who will assign you new duties in addition to your current ones, while Galahad is expected to report to me. You, Arthur, won’t go to Kitcho and you will complete your paperwork.”  
“Yes, mother” was the insouciant reply. “Shut up, Harry. See you later ladies and gentlemen. Merlin out.” Arthur gave him the middle finger and proceded to involve the others in a ruinous game of strip chess.

Later that night, in Arthur’s office, Eggsy was concluding his debrief and revising possible new strategies for the future. Harry was still going over his paperwork and Merlin was guiding fondly Galahad’s to the conclusion of his review.  
“You know,” he said at the end “I will say this only once. You are really a good agent and you clearly love it. It is true in your case the motto -You should do what you love – “.  
Eggsy cheekily winked towards Harry and said to an exasperated Merlin: “Believe me, I know.” ("That's not what I meant!")  
Harry’s incredulous laughter was clearly heard outside his office.

**Author's Note:**

> They really won't go away. I think it's my way to rebel against the week of insane work I have to plow through in two days' time (it will begin Monday, as most jobs do. Good wishes are appreciated.)  
> Thank you, as always, for reading.


End file.
